Living at home with the 'rents has its perks. Free food, no (or low) rent, someone else paying for all that hot water and electricity you use... But when it comes to dating, and especially bringing someone home with you for the night, things can get a bit tricky. Will your mum walk in on you getting down with your date when she's dropping off some laundry? Will breakfast the next morning be super-awkward with your dad reading the paper while your hookup sips coffee? Will the words "What's this one's name again?" be spoken at any point?
If you're living with your parents, it's a good idea to have some mutually agreed-upon ground rules for co-existing. Obviously you're too old for a curfew, but knowing that your parents go to bed by 10pm when you don't tend to stumble in until the wee hours of the morning requires some respect of each other's schedules. And if you're stumbling in with someone else and loudly hooking up in your childhood bedroom, trust us: It will be weird. For everyone.
Have an open conversation with your parents about your dating life. You don't have to give all the gory details, but get a sense from them about their comfort level with you bringing home a date every so often, and what the boundaries are around this. You're an adult, yes, but it's their home too. Agree on what's acceptable - once a week on a Friday or Saturday, perhaps, or no guests after a certain hour, or only when they're away themselves for the weekend. It's going to require some compromise.
Do you want to hear your parents having loud sex at 3am? No? Then consider that they don't want to hear you, either. Be mindful of your parents' feelings about your nocturnal activities, and if you can't keep the noise level down, find someplace else to go.
Your parents have obligations and commitments, too, like work, volunteering, errands, appointments, social occasions, get-togethers with friends, and just plain needing down-time. If they have regular schedules, plan around them so you're not wanting to bring someone over during their monthly book club that's held in your living room. If you know they need to get up early the next morning, don't bring a date home late the night before when you'll be making noise and disrupting the peace your parents need to rest and refresh. If there's family time like a weekly family dinner, that's also not the time to interrupt with a fling. Be respectful of the ebb and flow of your parents' household and try to fit in.
Condom wrappers all over the floor? Sex toys on the bedside table? Sheets that haven't been changed in a month? No, no, and no. A tidy room shows respect for your parents' home, and the signs of your sex life should be kept discreetly put away. And for goodness' sake, change your sheets, particularly between partners - that's just unhygienic.
A "Do Not Disturb" sign on your door might also be a good idea (and prevent parents from knocking mid-activities to find out if you want to come watch a movie with them on the couch).
Even if you have your parents' blessing to bring someone home, discretion is the word you want to remember. Keep the PDA to a minimum - no making out on the sofa while your parents are trying to watch their regular Thursday night show - and absolutely no getting down to business in any bed but your own.
Make sure your date understands the situation and acts accordingly, too. Don't try to hide that you're living in your parents' house - it may be a dealbreaker for some people, who will understandably feel uncomfortable about it - but it'll be even weirder if you don't tell your hookup what the deal is and then they run into one of your parents in the middle of the night, naked, while trying to use to bathroom.
And have a decent exit strategy, especially if it's late at night and everyone else in the household is asleep, or if things go wrong and you aren't compatible, after all.
The fact is, your parents might not feel comfortable with you bringing someone home, or might think they're comfortable at first but then backpedal when reality sets in. So what will you do instead?
Consider alternatives, like a hotel or motel, going back to your date's place, or even crashing at a friend's apartment (with permission and their blessing, of course).
And think about the long-term sustainability of living at home and continuing to date. If it's cramping your (or your parents') style, you might need to come up with a different plan, or think about whether it's time to move out on your own. There are benefits to living at home with your parents, sure, but your dating life might suffer!
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